How To Stop The Cyber Bully - Early Warning Signs, Trust, Openness And Guidance

 

Cyberbullying is an aggressive act. While some of us are more aggressive than others, I believe we can calm cyber bullies by teaching them how to stop being aggressive. It is possible to learn anything. Psychology 101, Watson, and Skinner on Operant Condition are all examples of this belief. There are always two sides to every story, just as there are with everything else.

There is the victim who is cyberbullied, the virus technology being used by over 2 billion people (probably not all 2, billion but certainly the majority), as well as the parents of the victim. Instead of focusing on cyberbullying, confronting them and teaching them how to stop being aggressive, I will adopt a Broadcom Colombia passive approach and look at the issues and solutions from both the victim's perspective, his parents, and the technology.

Despite all that, bullying has moved to the Internet, just like so many other things. The Internet and particularly the social networking platforms like Facebook, Myspace, Google+ etc., are all a part of today's world. Cyber bullies have another way to abuse children.

These statistics show the severity of cyberbullying.

- Cyberbullying has been reported by more than 20% of children aged 11-18 years who were randomly chosen to take part in a survey.

- Between 12 and 17, more than 93% of children use the Internet. 70% of these kids use social media such as Facebook and Myspace. This online harassment is spread virally by these social media technologies.

Approximately 71% of teenagers believe that blocking abusive messages is the best way to stop bullying from the Internet.

Statistics show that nearly half of these incidents are not reported. These incidents are even more rare according to cyber bullying statistics.

The Cyber Bully Victim – Early Warning Signs

It is extremely important to be aware of early warning signs, symptoms and reasons for cyber bullying as a parent.

As a calibration, let's define cyber bullying. It can be described as any act on the Internet that humiliates, hurts or harms another person. These harmful acts can affect anyone of any age, but it's not necessary to stress how important it is for your children to be safe from being bullied online. I'm sure you've heard that "bullies often become bullies" and we don't want our children to do the same. We want to be able to solve it gracefully, calmly, passively if it happens.

It may not be obvious what the signs of cyber bullying are at first glance. Parenting is hard work. It involves a lot of guesswork and learning. Sometimes it feels like you have to have a sixth sense for your child's personality. This is where you might need to use your intuition to see the signs that your cyber bullied child is trying to tell you. Remember that bullying online isn't that different than bullying in person. The Internet is just another way for bullies to communicate their message. It is similar to the way you would handle bullying in the offline world.

When something isn't quite right with your child, you can trust your intuition. You might notice your child is using the internet or computers all day. This may seem fine for a day. If that behavior continues for more than a few days, you might be concerned. If you're like me, you'd think that it's strange. That's what I call parent's intuition - the 6th sense I discussed above. It is a part of every parent's intuition, and you should listen to it. Your intuition will help you recognize early warning signs. There are other warning signs. We will examine the warning signs of cyberbullying, their technology use and the actions you can take.

What is Normal?

Normal is a relative term. Each child will have their own norm. As a parent, you need to be able to recognize your children's Internet habits. What is their Internet usage? What do they do on the Internet? Are they using cell phones or other devices to connect to the Internet? These questions can help you to establish a norm for your children.

Remember that there are 13+ year-olds who use social networking apps and are an increasing number. Their time spent on social networking platforms has increased significantly over the years. Understanding your child's normal social networking behavior will help you identify the'signs'.

You should suspect that your child is experiencing an issue if they suddenly stop using the Internet. However, you should recognize that the Internet can be accessed through other devices than traditional ones like a PC, MAC or Desktop/Notebook. Although it may seem like your child is withdrawing, they are actually connecting via another medium.

A cell phone can be used to connect the child to the Internet. The number of Internet-connected cell phones is steadily increasing and children are enthusiastic users of cell phones to connect with the Internet. This is a benchmark you should understand to help your child's Internet behavior. It's important to realize that your child may be a victim of cyberbully via their cell phone.

Normal Signs

Cyberbullying can cause victims to withdraw from their daily tasks. This is another indicator that a child could be an anxious target. Pre-teens and teenagers can withdraw from their daily activities for no apparent reason. While withdrawals under normal circumstances are directed at parents and their families, they will still be able to interact with their peers as usual. Cyberbullying, on the other side, can cause children to withdraw from their friends. Another sign that you are being targeted but also a way for your child to get to know their normal baseline.

Bullies, online or offline, want to make others feel superior and poke fun at them (often using very hurtful methods). These episodes can make a child feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. They may have to confront their friends, who may have seen the incident, or their parents, who may not be fully understanding the situation. Because they are afraid that the situation could get worse and it will continue, victims don't speak out about bullying to their friends or family.

Public and private figures

Cyberbullies can make the problems and themselves seem invisible. However, both can technically be tracked. Cyberbullies can create the illusion of anonymity by being invisible. For example, the cyber bully could use private messages boxes to carry out attacks that are hidden from others. Harassment can take the form of abusive messages, profane language, or even threats. These private attacks conceal the cyber bully from the general public and can leave the victim scared, worried, or even lonely. A child who has been subject to cyberbullying may experience extreme frustration, anger or sadness. This is because these threats are hidden from the public and difficult to identify.

Cyberbullying can be done in public, so the perpetrator is visible. Cyber bullying is a result of the nature technology. It allows people to spread the word virally. The impact and issues can be more serious than those of an 'invisible person'. The suicide of Phoebe Prince was an extreme case of cyberbullying that got outof control.

Recognize the Call

Although most children aren't equipped to handle harassment on their own, depending on their age, many will be able to rationalize the situation to varying degrees. Some might say they are capable of handling it. Some may retreat. While some may think they are capable of handling it, they really need support. It is your job to help them recognize the need for help.

Trusted Help

Your child has just moved beyond their normal behavior and is now retreating. Your intuition says that you should have a guided conversation with your child. You will hopefully have a trusting, open relationship by that point. Trust is key, especially when it concerns your children's ability to rely on you. Remember that your child has likely used your assistance in the past to solve difficult situations. Why should this situation be any different? Cyberbullying can be solved by trust.

Listening is an important part of understanding the situation. However, it's equally important to direct the conversation in the direction you need. To solve the problem you must get to the root cause. To properly understand the situation, you will likely need to dig and mine information.

Access to your child's cell phone and Facebook account will be necessary in order to solve the problem. Ask your child to assist you. Reassurance is key. Although your child may not be ready to share everything with you, reassurance can go a long ways in calming them down. Your child should feel safe and secure. Let them know you are there to help.

You can see that Parenting 101 is the answer. There is one difference between now and before: Before you used your parenting skills face-to face with people. This time, however, you are using them online. It's time to transfer your parenting skills to the internet.